Day 78

Day 78:

It feels so much easier now. To sit down to write, regardless of where I am or what I've done that day. I'm doing this on my phone, in the car (as a passenger, of course). Before I started writing, and at the start of this project, writing felt like a huge effort. It felt like something that would take up a lot of time and mental energy, and it reminded me of the hours spent practising creative writing in English class at school. Now though, it doesn't feel like any special effort. It has become normalised through regular practice.

That isn't to say that writing has become repetitive, quite the opposite. Now I have overcome the barrier of ‘just write something’, I now have the freedom to write something that feels new or interesting to me. I want to write every day, and I want to challenge myself in new ways by writing things that I have never written before.

The next logical progression of this is to compile and publish this as a book, which is something that I never thought I'd be able to do. Unfortunately, I worry that this sudden leap in ambition has caused me to lose my way a little. Ideas came into my head about being a published author, and everything that comes with it. Having my polished book on shelves, reviews. Money. That is the polar opposite of what I started this for, and I only realised this when I re-read the very first thing I wrote on Itch.io, the introduction on my home-page.

I promised that everything on here will always be free, and that will always be true. It was never about money, or recognition. It is about growth as a writer, a creative, and as a person. Only when something resembling a book took shape, and I started having ideas about how it could be formed, did ideas of money start coming into my head. I'll consider why this happened more over the coming days, and I'll be sure to give a stronger verdict in the notes for this day.

What truly bought these thoughts of physical publication to a screeching halt was research on printing costs. I knew that I could never go to a publishing house (most of this is already available for free online), so self-publishing is the only route, which is very, very expensive. So, I will produce an E-book and an audiobook, for Itch.io and I might try to get it on Amazon as well. Of course, all itch.io content will be free, because that is the purpose of it :). I'm particularly looking forward to doing the audiobook, I do enjoy reading aloud.

If I had set myself the ambition of writing and publishing my own book from the start, it would never have gotten this far. Without any content that I was proud of, I'd have jumped straight into that research, and said to myself that it was impossible. Taking small steps towards the things you want to achieve, rather than taking one huge leap, really seems to feel more rewarding, as you achieve something new far more frequently. There are often large obstacles to overcome with big projects, or brand-new things; so by setting the bar so high with those, you are setting yourself up for failure. With little projects, you can build up your skills and knowledge over time, and keep getting new motivation from these regular successes. With time, you may even be able to use your knowledge to complete the project that you dreamed of, and much more besides.